My first interview

I looked into the mirror and was not convinced with my attire. Maybe I should not try this shirt. I am better off with the blue one with vertical white stripes. Many guys appreciated that shirt saying that it suited me well. I wanted to portray myself in the best possible manner. After all it was my first interview and who wouldn't like to give his best shot.

I was anxious. I was nervous. What would be the sort of questions that would be thrown at me? I had no idea. I had hardly slept the previous night. My eyes had turned red but I knew I could hide it with my smile. I had not had my breakfast and the clock was showing 1:30 with sun burning the newly laid road in front of my house. Yet, I was not hungry or rather, I didn't feel like eating.

The next one hour would be the most critical moments of my life. The way I respond to this pressure would decide what I would be for the rest of my life. I talked to myself and said to be calm, everything would be alright. If I flunk in this interview its not going to be the end of world and I would get many more chances in future; said the confident half of my brain. Yet, the scared up half of my mind said, you wouldn't want to flunk in this interview do you? Yes. The scary half of my mind was right.

I looked at my watch. I still had ten minutes left before I would leave the room. I then looked into the mirror for just a final check on my dress code. It looked alright after I wore the blue shirt. I remembered the days of my college when I used to get under my bed on listening about the viva exam. I hate it when someone looks into my eyes, asks some questions and is waiting for me to give a wrong or unacceptable answer so that he can have a go at me. I know that when I am under pressure, its better to put the money on Harman Baweja delivering a hit film, rather than banking on me to answer what's 2+2. Calm down Anil. Courage is not the absence of fear, its all about overcoming the fear. No that's not my own line, Raghu said that in roadies.

20 mins later, I was at a place which can be called as an interview room. The interviewer had probably taken more time than me in getting fit to the dress code. We smiled at each other, greeted, seated and had the initial talks about the education to kick off the conversation. Ten minutes later came the real questions

Interviewer: What do you want to do with your life?

Me: Well... I want to be a... a...

Wait.. what do you want to do with your life Anil? Its not the first time I asked this question to myself but every time I had asked, I didn't want to answer it. Or maybe, I didn't have an answer to the question. Forget that and give me an answer now, right now you idiot. Ok what do I want do with my life. Should my motto be to stand up against corruption. Or should I dedicate my life inventing something (how silly) or help the poor and needy. Give me some answer man.

Me: I strongly believe that true happiness is in giving without any expectations. I would focus on keeping people around me happy. My family, relatives and friends (and also the cute girl opposite to my house, she stares at me whenever I stand at the gate). And if possible, give something to the society.

The interviewer gave an expression of deep thinking on hearing that. Boy, was that too philosophical for a reply. Doesn't matter. An arrow that has left the bow, a fart that has left the ass and words that have left the mouth, all three cannot be taken back.

Interviewer: Interesting. Where do you see yourself five years from now? Some managerial role in your career?

Me: Depends on where I land up two years from now. I have some plans for the next two years. I don't think I would be interested in the managerial role. Technology fascinates me more than the concept of managing people.

Interviewer: So you mean you have no long term planning?

The stress was on the word 'NO'.

Me: I did not mean that. I concentrate on short term plans more than long term ones. If I work on achieving short term goals, the long term goals will be taken care of.

Interviewer: How long would you think you will be in the IT industry.

Me: Again that's a long term decision. I do not know when I will quit the IT industry but I do know that I will quit it whenever I feel its too much. I won't think I will be 40 years old and still going behind the customers, meeting deadlines and filling out appraisal sheets every six months.

Interviewer: So what would you do after quitting IT industry? You know what this industry can give you right? How do you plan to manage the same lifestyle even after quitting the IT industry?

Me: From my childhood, I wanted to take up teaching as my profession. As I said earlier, happiness is in giving and what better thing to give or impart other than knowledge. I see myself in a college, teaching students once I quit the industry. I would not not be worried if I do not continue to enjoy the lifestyle but what matters is peace of mind. I think I will get that in the profession I choose after leaving the industry. That has still got ample time though.

The interviewer seemed sunk in more deep thinking. I did not know whether my answers impressed the interviewer or not but I had spoken my heart out.

Twenty minutes later, I was walking down to my home. All the anxiety, pressure, fear about sitting in an interview had turned down and a sense of satisfaction was slowly surrounding me. I was walking fast now, in contrast to what I did earlier when I seemed to crawl to the interview room, yet I got a feeling that the room was very closeby. I first went to a hotel; boy I was damn hungry. I ordered a masala dosa and a vada and ate it at the speed at which a frog grabs an insect.

I could not sleep that night again. The anxiety was haunting back now. I did the interview all right but what about the result? I was starting to get worried about the result now. Men hate to fail (well, so do women also isn't it?) More than the failure of the interview what feared me more was how would I face my friends and relatives when they ask the question "hey how did the interview go?". You know there a few people around who purposefully ask that question to hear that I failed. Why don't they understand that if I succeed I would tell them on my own and if I shut my mouth, I failed in that bloody interview. Well, that's human nature isn't it. I spent most of the night thinking about why humans do that. I finally got some sleep after 3.30 in the morning.

At around 10 in the morning, my cell phone started ringing. With my eyes half closed I looked at the mobile screen which said "dad calling". I picked the call and said hello to which my dad replied, "Don't worry son. We have another girl's profile". That was the end of my first interview.