Those 30 minutes

In what has been one of the most bizarre "moves" of my life so far, I have "moved" from a pretty calm, far less polluted Noida to a costly, cosmopolitan cyber city Gurgaon; a move more stupid than jumping from a frying pan to fire (a famous Kannada saying). Although now I stay just about a kilometer away from my office, the journey from my room to my office is not at all short of description.

As I put on my jacket and leave the room, I put my hands deep into my pants pockets to avoid them from getting frozen. My initial phase of this 30 minute journey makes me inhale a lot of carbon dioxide mixed with dust, thanks to the construction works happening around my room. I walk past these half built buildings, taking care that no brick or stone hits my head.

Now I reach the city’s one of the most crowded and dirtiest roads. I need to cross to the other end, a stunt which can only be performed by Akshay Kumar and that too, after you pay him a handsome amount. For a minute or two, I stand there looking at the cars racing away in front of my eyes. The BMWs, the Mercedes, the Audis, you name it, I can see it. Those cars which I used to see only in auto magazines an year ago, have now become an obstacle making me difficult to go to the other end of this highway. After raising my palm to stop the cars, having a few narrow escapes from motorcyclists, listening to a few gaalis in Haryanvi accent, I finally manage to accomplish the intimidating task.

Now comes the best part of my journey as I enter the premises of Infinity Towers, a tall flamboyant structure housing some of the leading multi national companies of the world. As soon as I cross the gates of this dashing building, I slow down my walking pace. Not that my legs are tired, but there is a feast waiting for my eyes. I turn my head and look upon the people moving, just can’t help noticing the tall, fair female species with huge sunglasses on their eyes, stylish designer bags swinging on their shoulders, heading towards their destination on high heeled shoes, straight silky hair bouncing on their back and lots of other things that I can’t mention here. Why isn’t my office just opposite to this "lovely looking" building?

As I look at my watch, I realize that I have spent just a little more time in looking at this building and the people working in here. I switch on to the top gear and start moving fast. In the process, I hit an electric pole, rubbed shoulder with a guy having a red turban on his head and almost got banged by a Honda City car. In the meantime my cell phone starts ringing. With one eye on the phone and the other watching out for the automobiles trying to send me to hell, I pick the phone just to discover that it’s from one of the banks who are willing to grant me a loan.

Crossing all these hurdles that would threaten my existence on this planet, I finally reach my office, exert all my force on the elevator button after waiting for a couple of minutes and find that it’s already overloaded with people. Giving them a smile, cursing the elevator in my heart, I climb up some 70 steps to reach to my cubicle and say to myself, "Wait… The day has just begun!!!"

Finding Friends

Life without friends is like a Bollywood movie without a bikini scene. Both are very essential in making the environment refreshing, sensational, unforgettable and in spicing up the moments. Recently, all those actions have been terribly missing from my life, feeling like being marooned on a city of more than 1 crore people.

The number of friends I have, has dipped down like the stock markets in recent days. The count, which was more than the number of hairs on Andrew Symmonds’s head (and maybe other parts), has now dried up and looks like that of Virendar Sehwag (’s head). Though some of my extremely patient friends have taken the pain to keep in touch with me, don’t know if they would be feeling like a kid being compelled by his teacher to sit in class, when he urgently wants to drop his pants and sit on a commode. Some even feel that watching Karzzzz for three hours is better than talking to me for 30 seconds. To make matters worse, I don’t know the reason for this. Yes I have been a bit insensitive, rude, negligent, miserly, arrogant, stubborn, foolish kind of a person, but… why am I losing friends???

I had a mild shock when one of my “used to be good friends” honored me with most of the above adjectives (add the term egoistic to that which my dear friend later accepted to cancel it from the list). Yes I have a few terribly frank friends, more terrible than Himesh Reshamiya and more frank than Rakhi Sawant. And I am sure there would be few who would like to add some more terms to that list.

Friends are like undergarments. You may wear a Tommy Hilfiger shirt and a Denim jeans below it, look cool by wearing expensive eye and wrist gears, gel up your hair making yourself look like a porcupine, but if you do not wear your undergarments, you miss something and you miss them very badly. Friends are equally essential. So all you boys and girls who take trouble to read my blog, in the spirit of friendship and brotherhood (latter one not meant for girls), please take some more trouble and get in touch with me, or else I will make you sit and watch Aag, Phoonk and Drona all alone, back to back.

1 year @ workplace

Sometimes Brett Lee’s fastest deliveries are hit over his head for six. Sometimes the fastest moving wild animals are easily hunted. Sometimes the giant anacondas of the Amazon are tamed down without much effort. Sometimes the most talented hard working young men don’t get jobs in the best companies. Sometimes…. The best just don’t get the best… Thankfully... I don’t belong to that list of best.

It has been one year since I started working. And when I look back and think about my achievements…. emmmm... lets drop that. A lot has changed since my joining and the present situation. From training rooms to conference rooms, from assignments to work orders, from classes to KT’s, from tests to certifications, not just that, from dosas to paranthas and the best... from fleshy, hairy Mallu aunties to slim, gorgeous Delhi Mall babes.

In a nutshell, my one year of corporate life has been a bag containing cake and cow dung. Although a few times I have brought down the jaws of my teammates with my intelligence, on most of the occasions I have been so dumb that Taare Zameen Par’s Ram Shankar Nikumbh sir would think twice before handling me and Ishaan Avasthi would raise his eyebrows looking at my IQ. My contribution to the revenue of my company so far, would be enough to fetch a mid day meal for an infant living below poverty line in Somalia.

I may not have made significant contribution in the financial sector but I have been a frontrunner when it comes to teaching others. My presence in the office has been a good moral learning experience for my teammates. They have learnt how not to stare at women colleagues with the mouth wide open, and how not make a fool out of yourself. Not just how-nots but a few hows as well like how to find excuses to skip work, how to pretend that you are working yet keep chatting in chat rooms are to name a couple of them.

Ending this post without mentioning what I did in the weekends of this one year would be like Sholay without Gabbar Singh, like Big Boss without any females, or like Rakhi Sawant without her doctors. If you have read my previous post, it’s not difficult to guess what would I do to keep myself busy on weekends. I share the same relationship with my bed, as Michael Phelps shares with swimming pool. No better way to spend the free time than lying on the bed, eyes closed and being in a ‘out of this world’ condition. Its relaxing, refreshing, gets me rid of boredom and moreover, very cost effective. Someone has really said it right, “The best things in life, are free”.

Travel..Traffic..Torture

Its 5.50 P.M on a cloudy Friday evening in the cyber city of incredible India. As I pack my bag, my colleagues sitting around give a ‘how the beeep you leave so early’ kind of a look but still manage to wish me a happy weekend with a smile on their face. My journey from Gurgaon to Noida, a breathtaking 50 kms long bumpy ride starts now. The travel is as smooth as the unwaxed hands of Kim Sharma!

As I walk out of my office, my tired eyes start searching for the bus with the number 23 written on its forehead. After a lot of honking, traffic policemen waving hands, drivers cursing others mothers and sisters, my bus finally arrives in a rather unwilling way. This journey is long enough to make Ekta Kapoor`s serials seem like ending in few minutes.

This journey can last anywhere from two hours to a good seven hours depending on the traffic state of 3 cities- Gurgaon, Delhi and Noida. If you are so lucky that you can walk blindfolded on a flyway without getting knocked over, the journey may end in less than two hours. Today the traffic seems to be as usual; long array of cars lining one behind the other eagerly waiting for the signal to turn green, killer DTC buses zooming past all other vehicles, autowalas attempting various stunts to impress the hot girl sitting behind them and in the midst of all these, bikers trying to find the narrowest gap between two vehicles to move their bikes ahead thinking themselves as Batman, out on a mission to save this planet.

Every weekday I spend so much time in this bus doing nothing. Not that I am as busy Mukesh Ambani but, I feel this time could have been used more productively like sleeping or watching FTV or roaming in malls to look for what every male species of homo-sapiens looks at.

But… things are really not as bad as they look. When other people get frustrated in these annoying traffic jams, I lay on my seat, absolutely calm, composed not at all moved by these disturbances. Be it the boring microcontroller classes during my college days, or a day long travel in trains, I have been gifted with tremendous powers. By this, my patience is like the Australian Cricket team, seldom faces defeat. This gift is the most beautiful five letter word in English which is called 'sleep'. I now shut my eyes, take a deep breath and exercise this gift. And if you have fallen asleep by the time you finish reading this post… dude you are gifted like me!!